Sherry and I made a quick (and too short) trip to Kenya right after Winema Week of Missions. We spent 8 days or so with the great people at Community Christian Church in Narok, Kenya. This was our third trip to Narok, and once again, it was enriching. We team taught on Marriage and Spiritual Growth. On our two previous teaching trips, Sherry taught the women, and I taught the men. It was a very traditional African arrangement.
This time, we did things differently. Being the teaching was on marriage, it seemed right to do some marital modelling. We kept everyone together, and had husbands and wives sitting WITH each other and not on opposite sides of the room. Sherry and I team-taught the whole group. Sometimes I would lead, and Sherry would add her thoughts and insights, and sometimes we reversed the roles. We had a great time playing off each other.
We were aware that there are cultural differences between the US and Kenya when it comes to marriage. We acknowledge those differences throughout the sessions. Our approach was to simply unpack what key scriptures on marriage said. We look at Genesis 2 and God’s decision to create a “helpmate” for Adam. We talked about leaving and cleaving and the importance of the two becoming one. We concluded that the creation of Eve was from and about love.
That discussion was followed by looking at 1 Corinthians 13 and what love looks like. We would return to this passage at the end of the training. We prepared three strings of beads that were to be braided together by each couple and placed in a special place in their homes as a reminder of the commitment they made to each other. We also had them write renewal vows, and they shared them.
We also turned to Ephesians 5. We talked about submission and how, according to 5:21, “We submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Most of our attention focused on the love, honor, and respect each is due.
We spent quite a bit of time on the husbands and how they are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Wives get three verses from Paul, which mostly focus on the church and Jesus. Husbands got eight verses. [And as an aside, too often wives like to focus on the verses addressed to husbands, and husbands love to point to the wives’ verses. We suggested that the husbands read the husband verses and apply them, while wives did the same with their verses.] We noted that the husband’s role was to make his wife better. Christ did his work to beautify, honor, and bless the church. Husbands should have the same goal to elevate and love their wives.
This section was followed by a quick look at 1 Peter 3. The emphasis here focused on the phrase “weaker vessels.” Two things we noted. First, this is a simile, not a factual statement. Husbands treat wives as if they were. Secondly, we suggested that the idea of “weaker” carried with it the idea of fine china or precious possessions. Peter concludes by reminding husbands that they are co-heirs (dare we say equals) in the kingdom.
At various points during the sessions, we broke up into smaller discussion groups. There was great discussion (or so we were told, as we don’t speak the language, we had to take their word for it). Not only was the teaching of marriage helpful, but the modeling Sherry and I did, and the hands-on projects we had them doing, worked well. Without overstating the impact, I believe we made a difference in the marriages of these church leaders, and beyond to the churches they lead.
We had planned to teach on marriage, but after the first day, we were asked by the bishop to talk about family, especially discipling children. We had not planned on that, but spent the evening preparing something. We again used three passages of scripture, Proverbs 22:6 and 13:24. The latter passage is about the rod. Sherry and I took different approaches to the rod. Sherry talked about a shepherd who had a rod, and that they used it to direct their sheep and not punish them. (Psalm 23’s approach to the rod and staff bringing comfort agrees with that approach.) My approach was to consider the word “rod” as a substitute for the many ways to disciple a child. We shared the limited times when spankings were administered in our family, why, and the limits we had. Again, there this was impactful. Finally, we looked at Ephesians 6. Since there were no children present, we talked about what exasperating or frustrating your child looked like.
This is way too long, but one last note. We concluded our time with the leaders talking about spiritual growth. I borrowed from a book, Messy Spirituality, by Mike Yaconelli. Sherry started that section off with a look at the woman caught in adultery from John 8. As she talks about the situation, near the end she has everyone drop a large rock they are holding. The idea being these were rock to stone the guilty woman. As these rocks drop and make a large “thud” sound, she says, “That is the sound of freedom.” The woman was free from judgment, and those of us standing in the circle a free from being judges. It was a profound moment.
We had a great week. God did amazing things. After all, we borrowed most of our material from Him. Our prayer now is for the seeds we planned to grow and blossom for the kingdom. Thanks to everyone who helped us get there and sponsor this teaching time. There are plans for bigger meetings and more opportunities to share insights God has allowed Sherry and me to experience. He is really good.